Most of you are already aware of how, in some ways, it can have its challenges for any person with a chronic illness. For me personally, most days are great and some just aren’t. These days, however, I’ve been fantastic. No flare-ups, mild fatigue, everything has been A-OK… until this damn pandemic.
I won’t lie, in the beginning, I was NOT phased. I remember going out in March for the last time, sayin, “We ain’t scared of no Rona.” Let’s just say that didn’t age well. Like many, I didn’t realize the severity until thousands of people were passing away. Sick, old, healthy, the rona didn’t have a preference. That is terrifying for someone with sickness like mine. Thankfully, I had a doctor’s appointment right before things got as bad as it did, and she said my immune system wasn’t THAT compromised for me to have to worry too much but like … Sis…
Yea I ain’t trust that shit.
For me, my issue was what would’ve happened if I got it? Would I be okay? Would I struggle? All these things went through my mind more often than it should’ve. My faith in God for protection should’ve calmed my fears, but I’m human so it was hard. I worried. A LOT. Before a couple weeks ago, I had honestly only seen a VERY SMALL portion of people. All I could think about was … who have they been around, then who have those people been around those people, it was an ongoing chain of unhealthy thoughts.
Going to the store to get essentials was a whole different level of anxiety I’d never like to feel again. Every time I left the house and came back, I thought I didn’t feel well. I just knew I was feeling clammy or had a fever, but I didn’t. Your mind is so powerful and will play tricks on you if you allow it. In my case, I rebuked it in the name of Jesus and stopped thinking about it. Which I’m sure was the best decision honestly.
I know a lot of people who weren’t really too phased by the pandemic and now that the world is opening are less and less worried. It’s a luxury and privilege to be quite honest because I STILL have to be precautious. Sometimes I wish I could just live FREELY like everyone else. I do to an extent, but I definitely don’t think I’d worry as much as I do if I didn’t have this illness.
Fast Forward to the gradual reopening of the world, and I can say I’ve made it through the first round of this thing okay, Praise God. I made sure I wore a mask, kept my interactions low, washed my hands, etc. ya’ll know the drill, and fortunately, it helped, I guess. Now that we are approaching the 3rd month of quarantine, or lack thereof, I am THIRSTY to get outside when things are finally “normal” again. I’m naturally a homebody, but this is even too much for me. It was too much for me a month ago really, but while I am anxious on the opposite end I’m still leery due to those stated precautions. Yes, I want to have fun and turn up like the best of them but my health comes first. When numbers start to decline, I’ll be more open to bein’ out here, but until then, you’ll find me creating. That has been THE BEST part of quarantine thus far actually. I’ve been able to do what I love on my own time, give ya’ll content, AND work my regular job. So in a way, I guess that’s the silver lining and a blessing in disguise.
What have you been doing during quarantine? Do you have a Chronic Illness? How did you maneuver though the pandemic?
Let me know in the comments!